Well, that's what some people seem to want me to do. How I get on these lists is unclear to me, but apparently a rather aggressive group of gold and silver folks have my name and number and have been passing it around to each other. Or perhaps they're all really the same people just using different names and numbers every few months which tends to be how these boiler-rooms operate. The vast bulk of them are in the general West Palm Beach region.
It wouldn't be so bad if they were actually trying to sell me gold or silver, as I do own a bit of each and could honestly tell them, "sorry, I have a very competitive bullion dealer 10 minutes away." But they're always, always trying to sell me some sort of "gold-linked" or "silver-backed" product, that is usually margined to the hilt, and usually presented as being "risk free with high upside."
Fortunately, their call pitches are quite predictable, as they're all reading from the same scammy script. This makes it relatively easy for me to have come up with some entertaining responses.
Some of these guys don't even bother noting what area code the autodialer just connected them to and what the time difference might be. This one hit about 10:30 a.m. here in California:
"Hey... this is Mitch with Newbridge Metals, good afternoon, we talked a while back, how's life been treating you?"
"I'm fine and it's not afternoon, you might perhaps want to have a clue where you're calling before the autodialer connects you."
"Heh heh heh."
More recently, I've noticed that when I do the thing that usually turns all invetment advisors off permanently -- tell them you have no money to invest -- they've been pushing the issue, so I now have an answer:
"Hi, this is Stan from Dynamic Quantum Bullion, we talked a while back, how are you doing?
"I don't recall the conversation, but doing fine."
[Somebody's missing the hint.]
"Well, we recommended a gold-linked product back in January. Have you been following how well gold has been doing?"
"Sorry, I've been putting all my money into my own business and i'm not following the markets these days."
"Really, what kind of business are you in?"
"I write software that's used for forensic financial analysis. Mostly sell to government agencies. Top clients are the FBI financial crimes unit and the SEC."
And no, I did not nor would I ever claim to actually work for the FBI, SEC or any other governement agency. Impersonating a Federal officer, even in the interest of getting rid of sleazy boiler-room scumbags is still a felony around here.
But this does have me thinking. I've owned and traded gold and silver through ups and downs for several years. I'm wildly up on everything I own right now. Maybe this is a sign, if not of the end, than at least of the beginning of the end?